[Gallard]

So dealing with negative thoughts is a very common topic, but what about dealing with negative facts/truths that can have similar negative impacts on your emotions/thoughts and life?

[ShikhaTan]

I am just looking at the glass half-full and not half-empty

[Ganesh]

I think negative facts are just criticism and only if you think it as such. Just don’t stress yourself into those things and don’t let it ruin your life or thinking.
I always keep in mind that these facts are not my choice and can’t do anything about it.
Another good thing to remember is you are not the only one. If others are happy living with those facts so why shouldn’t you?

That’s me but others just cannot live with criticism.

I think that people who are too much affected by these criticisms are somehow brainwashed by the society to think what are the positives and negatives.

[Amit]

Forcing yourself to think positively and smile is to me part of what being mature means.
Being sad is like trying to get this world to pity you, like when you were a baby and used crying to get what you needed.

As an adult you need to work for what you want. But really when you compare your life to the lives of people who lived before you.

or many people who live in 3rd world countries, you realize how lucky you really are, even if you don’t have all that you want.

Maybe having a girlfriend is a sort of luxury you know..?

With that said, I must admit it really depends on what that ‘true fact’ is..
If it something really harsh, distractions are the key.. (tv shows, games, whatever..)
Otherwise you should try to look realistically at the situation and see if it’s really that bad?

Other than that watching comedies and stand ups is always a mood booster and a good distraction.

[Ganesh]

I’m not completely sure what the OP’s focus is? Is it about the cards everyone is been dealt at the beginning of his/her life with regard to physical characteristics and the failure to comply to socially constructed standards of success and/or happiness?

If so, dealing with it is a process everyone goes through, well everyone who has the luxury to think that far (poor starving people have other sorrows I would think). I’ve done a lot of navel-gazing in my time, but IMO the big breakthrough came, when I noticed everyone else did the same, wrestled with a lot of similar questions and trying to answer them in their own way.

Some were IMO perhaps not the best ways, trying to feel superior by focusing on other’s shortcomings (or believe there of) for instance. I have some other thoughts on that, but I think I’ll put them on hold for now until I’m sure what the focus is…

[ShikhaTan]

Tbh, not the best opener, “why you say?”, because you can just as well say it is a fact someone has negative thoughts. Who’s gonna deny that?

Having no girlfriend will only matter if you feel bad about it aka negative thoughts. But be that as it may, I think I understand what you’re aiming at, so I’ll just point back to the previous alinea.

[Fierro]

So this is how i am taking your post! The negative FACT for me right now is how the hell did we end up with the worst president in american history for two terms!!!!

How do I deal with it?

I’m still smiling about this! How can I turn this negative fact into something positive?

I’ve already made a calendar for the day he is out of office! And I put smiley faces on every day and stars for the days he’s really stupid publicly speaking.

[Amit]

Your example of the ‘fact that you don’t have a girlfriend’ is the best example of why negative ‘facts’ do not really exist.

‘I don’t have a girlfriend? Ok maybe I should go get one, what do I need to do? I dunno, maybe I should ask guys who get lots of girls”. Every problem in your life is changeable and in my opinion, the fact that the future does exist, does come, that tomorrow will arrive, is good enough for me to say ‘Ok, I don’t have a girlfriend, but tomorrow I could meet the most beautiful girl ever who I fall madly in love with’.

Don’t ever think that life is pointless or is unfixable or isn’t going to get better because every decision you make, despite how insignificant or small you might think it is, makes a huge impact and what goes around comes around – so be good and good will happen.

One of the biggest lessons I have learnt in life is that everyone you see that has something? They earned that. Yes there are some who are ‘luckier’ but it was all their effort in the end. You don’t learn french unless you get lessons, you don’t get a girlfriend unless you talk to girls, you don’t get a job unless you apply for one.

There are the small percentage of times where you might get something without consciously doing something, but getting a job from some guy you met at a bar that you had a good yarn with is still applying, its just that it was unintentional which is why I say that despite how insignificant things you do might seem, they really aren’t and its not hard to make a big impact and change your world completely.

No such thing as negative facts, only negative opinion of facts.

[Ganesh]

Well one of the ways I deal when I have problems is,think of your ancestors, of people in wars in world war 2 for instance, the russian front and I usually find myself realizing how much suffering these people have gone through and how many great men have endured through it to create a better world for everyone.

[ShikhaTan]

Deal with negative facts. Well I just think positive. I am not just saying like, “Hey think positive and your good to go.”

But really I do think positive. Like for your example about not having a girl around. So what? At lease your saving those EXTRA cash and can spend on things you want. If negative things happen a lots in a short time. I would just stop all of my after work event and go fishing. Out there I get to be alone and think.

[Amit]

It’s only your own perspective of the fact being negative that brings you to feel bad.
Not the fact itself, but your judgement of the fact and how you perceive it to be in your own twisted little head.

[ShikhaTan]

Read this:

http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/12/25/10-gifts-you-deserve-to-give-yourself/

A great site in my opinion, I read their articles a lot and it’s always motivating